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The Universe Doesn't Want Me to See BTS This Year

Yesterday was the ARMY pre-sale for some of the South East Asian countries for the BTS Arirang World Tour. Unable to sleep properly, I woke up before my 6 am alarm with palpable excitement and nervousness... only to get no tickets at all...

I didn't get tickets at all. Nothing. Not a single one for the 5 shows in two different countries I was trying for. I can barely contain my disappointment enough to write this; considering that I spent the better part of 6 hours crying off and on.

Nevertheless I tried again during the Live Nation pre-sale today, and got in the never-ending queue of that blue man walking on what is clearly a treadmill because he didn't move for HOURS - only for me to be kicked out at the absolute last second, because their servers couldn't handle the sheer volume of users trying to secure tickets.





When I eventually did get to the purchasing page, even though there seemed to be seats remaining, it didn't allow me to book them saying that seat had been selected. And then, at long last, I finally found one that allowed me to actually proceed, the universe played the cruelest joke of all - the page reloaded and suddenly, "Access Limited". 


 

Relentlessly I joined the endless queue again, only to be met with absolutely no seats remaining when it was finally "my turn". 



And so ended my endeavour to, and hope of, securing tickets to the most awaited tour of the decade. 

Funnily enough though, there were some really interesting insights that I got about this even as I dried my tears on my pillow for a second straight day. For one, while I was lamenting over my luck and sobbing uncontrollably, I had a stray thought - in feeling this deep disappointment, I was feeling alive for the first time in a long time. I had been living life in cruise control mode, with no major bumps or hiccups except the occasional speed breaker that barely disturbed my velocity, that I didn't realise that I had not felt as deeply in a long time. It was no wonder that I was unable to let out my creativity - to be creative, one needs to feel emotions, and unbeknownst to even me, I had been numb inside for longer than I can remember. Evidently, being happy about your birthday reel hitting 21k views is not a deep enough emotion to elicit creative flow.

Second, did you know that there is nothing better than a perceived failure at something that may not be life altering, for you to feel like your bum is on fire and get you to work on projects that you have just let lie dormant or procrastinated the start of for the longest time? In my utter frustration of not securing the damn tickets, I have, in the last two days, been more productive than the last several months combined, just to feel like I am not a complete failure and I, in fact, do have some things under my control. The fact that I am even writing this post is evidence of that. 

Thirdly, despite this painful heartbreak (I will fight anyone who mocks me for calling this heartbreak), I do have some faith in the Universe. I genuinely believe that if I have been able to secure tickets in the past for similar concerts where the competition for tickets was just as intense, but have been unreasonably blocked each time I tried this time around, there must be a reason for it. There has to be, for the sake of my sanity. Who knows, may be they will announce dates in India and I will get VIP tickets then! The (J)hope remains alive. 

I am still going to try again tomorrow during the general sale. If it still doesn't happen, then well, it was just not meant to be. 

In the meantime though, I have some killer ideas for my podcast, all thanks to this truly painful experience. Stay tuned for it, and if you haven't subscribed to my YouTube channel, what are you even doing? Go listen to the pearls of wisdom I spout :P



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